Inspiration/Breath

This is Part #2 of the Brokenness/Inspiration subject.

I wouldn't say that brokenness is an absolute prerequisite of inspiration, but I'd say that for "best results" it's best to pour into something that is OPEN and empty.

Inspiration can actually be synonymous with Inhalation.  So I'll be drawing the connection between breathing, inhaling, and inspiration wherever I can.  When you treat these words as synonyms, it makes certain ideas more three-dimensional.  God breathed life into the first human.  Adam's first action in life was to take a breath, to inhale, to be inspired -- directly inspired by God.  Being inspired by someone is as simple as breathing in whatever it is that they are exuding or exhibiting.  Inhalation is what gives you life -- literally.  So why not think of inspiration as the way our spirit inhales?  Then we might see inspiration as a requirement for the life of the soul and spirit.

I know I'm getting into hippie/pop spirituality stuff, and to make matters worse, I've been reading a lot from music educator James Jordan.   But I think it's significant that Jordan has written an entire book on "the role of breathing in human expression."  He argues that breath is what determines what is going to follow -- whether it be speech, music, action, etc.  And it's true (as he basically goes on to say) that the honest execution of a musical idea can only be preceded by honest breath.


Sometimes we have to intentionally monitor our breathing in situations, such as when we're trying to calm down.  I just saw Gravity in theaters a couple days ago, and I was definitely breathing with Sandra Bullock for at least 45 minutes of that movie.  When we monitor and control our breathing -- being intentional about our inhalation and exhalation -- we achieve unique results, and often we'll continue to breathe calmly as a result (after we've stopped being conscious of it).
I'm exploring the idea of intentionally monitoring inspiration in my life.  I'm at a point where it's difficult find motivation to do even the simplest things.  But inspiration is what can ignite the flame for anyone.  In my life it especially applies to music.  Sometimes I need to see great art before I can pursue it.  If I can be impacted as a listener, I can be changed as a performer and "practicer."


The central idea behind all this is that inspiration doesn't easily come from within ourselves.  It's stimulated by something outside of our conscious selves.  We breathe in what is outside of us, and we are inspired by things outside of us.  As an introvert, I rely too much on myself and try to be my own driving force.  But I'm quickly seeing that that is a recipe for continuous failure.

For the Christian, the simple way to be inspired is through the "ordinary things:" prayer, the Bible, fellowship, worship, etc.  Sometimes, though, even when exposed to these things, we may accidentally keep ourselves "closed off" and not remain open enough to absorb everything and allow it to inspire/fuel the rest of our life.  Good news is that Jesus is ready at a moment's notice to fill us with inspiration when we need it, and when we turn to Him.  We are meant to live a life of accepting, receiving, opening up, remaining broken, and being vulnerable with a heart dependent on Jesus.  Only after this is done, can we give.

So anyway... as I said, I'm going to attempt to be intentional about inspiration in my life.  I need lots of healthy doses of it at the moment, so it's not going to be difficult for me to remember.  Feel free to join me in this.



Here's an interesting Copland quote.

"Inspiration may be a form of superconsciousness, or perhaps of subconciousness -- I wouldn't know; but I am sure that it is the antithesis of self-consciousness."

-Aaron Copland,  Music and Imagination

Brokenness

For some of the areas of my spiritual life in which I currently struggle, I see a two-fold solution:  Brokenness and Inspiration.  I'm going to talk about these things, both of which God has spent some time in the past teaching me about.  As is often the case, this is for me as much as it is for anyone else who takes the time to read it.  I'm going to split these two topics into two blog posts.

I wish I could say I'm an expert on this topic.  I'm sure I'll never be.  But if I were to lead a group of young adults in some kind of independent small group (one of my fantasies that I hope will come true some day) I would start by talking about brokenness [and for clarification, I'm talking about the good kind of brokenness].

The precursor to spiritual change and growth is often brokenness.  Something must be emptied before it can be filled.  Many don't come to Jesus until they've run out of "things" to go to.  I love what I read recently in the daily devotional book, Come Boldly, that HFBC is currently using:

"When shall we come and appear before God?

We pray when we see an emptiness in all things under heaven.

We see that in God alone there is rest and satisfaction

for the soul. ... Right prayer sees nothing substantial 

or worth being concerned about except God."

-John Bunyan

A few years ago, after examining my life and seeing nothing but a spiritual plateau and stagnant relationship with God and His people, it was then that God began speaking to me about brokenness.  So brokenness is what I pursued.  But here I am, pursuing it (or at least... getting ready to pursue it) again.  That's the thing -- one-time brokenness doesn't last forever.  As the things of this world and of your own mind/heart slowly begin to creep back up and grow onto you, you may find yourself in a familiar place of needing your heart to be broken by Him once again.

Brokenness is beautiful -- even when it seems ugly.  It's about letting go of everything, realizing that your understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6) is not only insufficient -- it is misleading.

Why can't I love God better?  Why can't I love people better?  Why can't I depend on Him more?  Why am I focusing on satisfying my own desires?  Why do I pretty much have everything I need, yet am still so empty?  Why have the things of God lost their appeal?

The answer is: because my heart is not broken.  I've put confidence in something other than Him.  Or I've allowed myself to become satisfied with my current state.  What I need is for all my confidence, my being, my contentedness ... to be shattered.  I have to once again see that all is hopelessness outside of Christ.  We are far too easily pleased, to quote C. S. Lewis.

I'm taking the following statements directly from sermon notes that I wrote down on May 1, 2011 at K2 The Church.

The first thing that Jesus said in the first sermon that He gave was "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Poor in this case can be defined as: to have need, dependency, and to be aware of your need.  See Isaiah 57:15.  Jesus struggled most with those who believed they were wealthy in spirit!  The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we realize our need of Him.  We don't become "better," we become more broken.

There is more in each of us that needs to be broken than we realize.  But it's not going to reveal itself.  Only Jesus can point it out.  And only Jesus can even give you the desire to handle it!  Only He can help you to rid yourself of ... yourself.  

So I hope you'll join me in praying that He will undo us and destroy the walls that we inadvertently build up around ourselves.  

God works with undone hearts.  After God encountered Paul (Read Acts 9:8-9) he was BROKEN.  

 I'm looking forward to talking about Inspiration(breath) next!

Obligatory New Years Post

This post is really for me...hence the brevity, simplicity, and lack of apparent purpose ;)

This is an interesting time in my life.  Being single and out of school basically means I can do whatever I want, but also don't have a clear "future" or goal like we do while we're pursuing a degree or other academic achievement.  Because of this, life has the potential to have some really awesome highs, and a few boring lows.  For my own reflection, I'm listing the cool things that happened last year, and the cool things I've got lined up thus far this year.




The highlights of 2013:

Flew to Utah and had the BEST ski experience yet

Started working for Houston's First Baptist Church

Finished my first school year as a Texas A&M employee

Went on two weekend choir tours to the Dallas area

Had a piano lesson with Anne Epperson on the Franck sonata at UT!

Lots and lots and lots of accompanying

Attended the Oregon Bach Festival Composers Symposium!!!

Met Craig Hella Johnson

New Dream Theater album :)

Taught Contemporary Worship Keyboard techniques at a clinic

Vacation in Port Aransas w/ family/friends

SAW CONSPIRARE IN CONCERT!!

Became the accompanist for the Brazos Valley Chorale

Ate at Christopher's World Grille (that's worth mentioning, right??)

Recorded with two amazing musicians for my prescreening audition

Things to look forward to in 2014:

Working full-time, for the first time ever

A live audition at CU Boulder (and going skiing for one day!)

Joint choir performance with the Nordic Choir

My best friend's wedding

My little brother's wedding

10-day trip to Germany!!!

10-day trip to Africa!!!

Possibly Oregon again??

(Not Christmas Anymore) #17: He Covers Shame

He covers Shame & Sin



This morning I went to Proverbs 10 (yes, whenever I want to read a Proverb I typically just go to the chapter that corresponds with the day of the month -- Guilty). Anyway, I got to verse 12:

Hatred stirs up strife,

But love covers all sins.

(Prov. 10:12 NKJV)

And I was reminded that I wanted to write a post devoted to my favorite quality of Christ: the fact that He covers shame and sin.

I always find it interesting when I see a passage like this in the Old Testament and then remember the Pharisees and religious Jews during Jesus' time who had an incredible knowledge of the scriptures, yet still were unloving (and loved to expose people's sin). But we're ALL guilty of knowing the words of God and ignoring them.

God really spoke to me concerning this idea of "covering sin and shame" after a situation that happened a little over a year ago. (I'll have to try to avoid as many details as possible out of respect). A large group of folks and myself had to meet VERY early in the morning for what was going to be a long, busy day. Well, I learned that one of my fellow participants had elected to not sleep the night before, and, on top of that, spent their time drinking a large quantity of some certain beverages ... ones that they were not legally allowed to be consuming in the first place... Anyway, needless to say, I burned inside with a "dad-like" and not-so-forgiving frustration with this person's irresponsibility. Throughout the entire day, I carried the desire to expose the real reason behind this person's "bout of motion sickness" earlier, and would've loved to express my frustration at their immaturity.

It wasn't until much later (I don't remember...days or weeks) that I found myself dwelling on God's tendency to cover sin and shame, and He reminded me of that day in which I so strongly desired to do the complete opposite! It's so simple -- how can I love and desire the covering that Jesus gives me, but be reluctant to give it to others? I may have successfully kept it all bottled up inside that day, but my heart was definitely not in the right place at all.
We see the reoccurring theme of "covering" throughout the entire Bible. After Adam and Eve sinned and were "ashamed" they attempted to cover themselves, as anyone would. Did God take away their fig leaves and punish them? Well, not exactly. Read Genesis 3:21 God actually clothed them! And the fact that animal skins were used means what? An animal likely had to die. This was the first sacrifice for sin, and it was to cover the shame of the sinner. The love of our God is just incredible. When we mess up, He doesn't make us sit up high in a corner wearing the "dunce hat" or the cone of shame. He removes our sin and takes away our shame! We're not merely clothed, but clothed in the righteousness of Christ.

I think it's significant that part of Jesus' sacrifice for our sin included His exposure and nakedness on the cross. He was stripped of His garments so that we could be forever clothed. Sin doesn't just lead to pain and death -- it brings lots of shame. And Jesus took on our shame just as much as our death.

And it all points back to what He did for Adam and Eve. Even in the last book of the Bible, the Lord is offering clothing as He did in the garden.

Revelation 3:18-21
18 I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. 19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. 21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.


We all want our shame covered.  So remember to do it for others.  Gossip is SO far beyond the character of Christ!  Resist the urge to spread any negative speech about ANYONE.  Remember that Jesus is in you, and the LAST thing He would ever do is drag your shame through the streets.

And remember -- it's not "what would Jesus do."  Instead ask "what is Jesus doing right now, and what does He want to do through me."

Christmas #16: He is Purity

He is Purity


Instant purity.  Just add Jesus!
Yeah, another cheesy one-liner.


Purity, holiness, and righteousness are important, because without them we can't stand before the Father.  That's why the Father has given us Jesus.  Jesus is our purity and our righteousness.  The best news you'll hear today is that the message of "God is holy; you're not; you must try harder in order to be a good Christian"  is false!  The truth is this: "God is holy; He has given us Jesus; through Jesus we have the holiness and righteousness that God desires for us."  The Christian Life is about becoming what we already are.  We've been made holy and righteous by His death on the cross and by His resurrected life dwelling within us.  We put on that holiness by clothing ourselves in Christ -- not by trying to be better people, and not by trying harder to imitate Jesus.

Eph. 4:22-24
22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Gal. 3:26-27
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

Romans 13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.



We are merely to make provision for Jesus.  To submit to Him.  We sin when we make provision for sin.  And yes, we will all sin and continue to stumble, but the purity that comes from putting on Christ is always ready and available to us.

This topic is extremely encouraging to me.  It's especially nice in the morning just after waking up.  Try starting your day with a prayer like this:  "Thank you, God, for granting me the free gift of purity and righteousness in this very moment.  I thank you that you've given me Jesus to put on just as I put on my physical clothes for the day.  I thank you that I can start this day with purity of Christ -- a perfectly clean score card.  Help me resist putting back on the 'old man' today."

Something like that.  I'm sure you can come up with something better.


Sin is sin.  Don't think that sinning in one way makes you less pure than sinning in a different way.  Even if you somehow go 24 hours without "sinning," your purity is only found in Christ.  Sin is in your nature (your OLD nature), and Christ is your new nature.  We are new creations in Him!

There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ, who live according to the Spirit.  So enjoy clothing yourself in Christ's purity and holiness!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas #15: He is Healing

He is Healing


Jesus' ministry wasn't limited to teaching people about the Kingdom of God, showing love to sinners, and taking away the sins of the world.  A significant part of His ministry on earth was healing.  It certainly didn't have to be part of His ministry -- but it was.  God is in the business of healing, and He does it in Christ and through Christ.




Luke 4:16-21
So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. 17 And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written:

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”

20 Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. 21 And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”


[tangent warning]:  This passage above is astounding when you "put yourself there" and imagine what it was like ....  You're sitting there in church on Sunday.  It's "open mic" scripture reading time.  You see Jesus is back in town.  Where's he been for over a month?  Didn't he just take some strange 40-day "vacation?"    It's Jesus' hometown, so everyone knows him, and they all know that on Sunday he likes to be there and likes to get up and read a little scripture.  This time it's different.  Jesus thinks to himself "Well, here it goes.  I'm about to proclaim my true identity to these folks.  They're not going to know what hit them...seriously they're not going to have a clue."  They hand him the book of Isaiah -- perfect.  He finds chapter 61 and reads those powerful opening verses.  The he closes the book, hands it back to the dude, sits back down!, sees that literally everyone is staring at him, then says "Hey so, uh, today that scripture is fulfilled, guys."  Then he elaborates some, further confusing them, then they literally chase him to a cliff!  This Jesus guy that they all knew starts speaking what they can only interpret as heresy (because they know him! Imagine if one of your friends stood up in church after 30 years and said "hey by the way, I'm the Messiah"), and they respond by literally running him out of town.

Okay, back on track.  Healing.

"He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind."   Jesus knows that healing "brokenheartedness" is just as important as physical healing.  Healing is just a gracious way of showing His love to us.  He desires to heal.  And what I've learned through the Vineyard Church is that emotional and spiritual healing are just as real and just as necessary as (often more necessary than) physical healing.   When we allow Him, He will often find and expose the deepest part of our hurt and shame.  With the Samaritan woman at the well, He asked about her husband situation.  He knew that was where she needed healing the most.  As much as we don't like it, He wants to uncover those things deep within us that still cause us pain today, whether we're aware of it or not.  And He CAN heal those things!  He's come to set the captive free.

With physical healing, God still desires that we have the faith of a child.  He's still in the healing business today.  It still happens.  But even if we receive Jesus and don't receive a physical healing that we're seeking, we still get Him.  And we've seen Him use tragedies and physical conditions to work miracles in the hearts of people.

I believe that Jesus' healing ministry on the earth was a picture of the greater thing that He was doing for the souls of mankind.  He gave us spiritual sight, the ability to walk in Him, spiritual resurrection, and healing from the disease that is sin.

I'm going to conclude with this passage from the Psalms.  Enjoy God's love and healing!


Psalm 147:1-5
Praise the Lord!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.

2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
He gathers together the outcasts of Israel.
3 He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
4 He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name.
5 Great is our Lord, and mighty in power;
His understanding is infinite.

Christmas #14: He is Grace

He is Grace

It'd be silly to talk about Jesus without talking about grace.  Jesus Christ IS the grace of God.  We can talk about Him being the creator, being eternal, etc, but when He came to this earth as a man, He didn't come flaunting those things.  His primary mission was grace and love.


What is Grace, exactly?  (thanks C.a.t.  ;)

One of the definitions on dictionary.reference.com is "a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior."  A definition that I've commonly heard, when referring to God's grace, is "unmerited favor."  When comparing it to mercy, I've heard a definition like this:  "mercy is not getting what you DO deserve for sin, and grace is getting what you DON'T deserve: favor, love, forgiveness, a clean slate, etc."  As humans born into sin, we're guilty; and no amount of "good works" can outweigh our sin.  (Try telling a judge "but look at the GOOD things I've done! Doesn't that cancel out the crimes I committed??).  Grace is when Jesus comes in, takes the blame for your sin, and offers you the favor of God through belief and trust in Him.  Grace is when I wake up in the morning and suddenly know and feel that God loves me, forgives me, and sees me as holy and blameless because of the blood of Jesus, even though I may have rebelled against Him the night before.


I'd love to just open up this post to all my friends to write about God's grace themselves, because it's so easy and pleasant to talk about!  Anyone who has truly experienced Christ can attest to His amazing grace.  Maybe some people are initially attracted to Him by something like His healing, His peace, etc.  But for me, when I realize that He loves me regardless of what I do and gives me His unmerited favor, that's the most attractive thing to me.

A few things that stick out to me about Jesus and how He showed the grace of God are: when He saved the adulterous woman; His encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well; the fact that He spent time around the worst sinners; and when He saved Paul.  Were any of these people seeking God when they encountered Jesus?  No.  They weren't seeking to better their spiritual lives or turn over a new leaf.  They weren't looking for Jesus, or preparing their hearts for the coming Messiah.  No, they were merely going along with their miserable lives.

Read John 8:1-12

This event is a picture of "salvation through Christ" as it applies to every human being.  This story sums it all up.  Think about it:

1) We all start out dead in our trespasses -- sinful and unrepentant.
2) The #1 sin that rebellion against God was compared to in the OT was adultery.  Anyone who rebels against God is an adulterer in the sense that they are violating the covenant relationship that God made with His people.  This woman from the story is almost certainly a Jewish woman who knows the Law.  So, just like anyone who knows the law, by sinning in ANY way, she was "cheating on God."  Any time we sin, we're betraying our First love to seek pleasure elsewhere.
3) Satan is the "Accuser of the brethren."  We eventually become aware of our sin, as Satan drags us through the streets, shaming us, filling us with guilt and condemnation, bringing us before God and telling us that we deserve nothing less than death.  (And he's right -- living in the sinful nature only leads to death.  Just as the pharisees were right -- according to the law, she should be stoned).
4) As our sinful, dead lives bring us to the point of death in every sense of the word, Jesus enters the situation; His voice pierces through the darkness.  When we are truly hopeless and can't do anything to "clean ourselves up" for God, He comes through anyway.  First, He gets rid of the accuser.  He removes the outside condemnation and covers our shame.
5) Finally, He says "neither do I condemn you."  By facing your creator, having broken every rule that He's established, and hearing Him say "I do not condemn you," you are now freed up to live a life in adoration of Him.  The one who has every right to punish and condemn has instead taken upon Himself the condemnation of your sin, even though you did not know Him.

I'm gonna throw in a plug for my friend Joel who pastors Vineyard Blue church in San Diego.  He tells the story of the adulterous woman beautifully in one of his messages.  This link will take you to the 4:12 point.  Listen from that point until about 13:30.  8 and a half minutes, if you can manage it.  It's really great.  If you don't have that much time, then start it at the 11-minute mark.

http://youtu.be/OSsWxbrsllM?t=4m12s


The primary aspect of God's grace that I'm pointing out is that grace not only comes to someone who doesn't fully deserve it.  It comes to someone who isn't even expecting or seeking it.  It blows me away how Jesus broke all social boundaries and rules to talk to a Samaritan woman and reveal amazing truth to her.  She didn't deserve it, and she certainly wasn't looking for the Son of God.  Not only was she a Samaritan (despised by Jews), and a woman (no social rights or respect), but even for a Samaritan woman she was at the bottom of society.  She was guilty of a shameful lifestyle.  And He came and showed love to her in spite of everything.

If Jesus can do that, then we have no reason to hesitate to approach Him and receive His grace!


We all just want to be accepted.  We all want to be loved.  And any time that feel like we're lacking those things, we can turn to Jesus, who showers us with grace.




Romans 8
38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



2 Corinthians 13
14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.