Brokenness

For some of the areas of my spiritual life in which I currently struggle, I see a two-fold solution:  Brokenness and Inspiration.  I'm going to talk about these things, both of which God has spent some time in the past teaching me about.  As is often the case, this is for me as much as it is for anyone else who takes the time to read it.  I'm going to split these two topics into two blog posts.

I wish I could say I'm an expert on this topic.  I'm sure I'll never be.  But if I were to lead a group of young adults in some kind of independent small group (one of my fantasies that I hope will come true some day) I would start by talking about brokenness [and for clarification, I'm talking about the good kind of brokenness].

The precursor to spiritual change and growth is often brokenness.  Something must be emptied before it can be filled.  Many don't come to Jesus until they've run out of "things" to go to.  I love what I read recently in the daily devotional book, Come Boldly, that HFBC is currently using:

"When shall we come and appear before God?

We pray when we see an emptiness in all things under heaven.

We see that in God alone there is rest and satisfaction

for the soul. ... Right prayer sees nothing substantial 

or worth being concerned about except God."

-John Bunyan

A few years ago, after examining my life and seeing nothing but a spiritual plateau and stagnant relationship with God and His people, it was then that God began speaking to me about brokenness.  So brokenness is what I pursued.  But here I am, pursuing it (or at least... getting ready to pursue it) again.  That's the thing -- one-time brokenness doesn't last forever.  As the things of this world and of your own mind/heart slowly begin to creep back up and grow onto you, you may find yourself in a familiar place of needing your heart to be broken by Him once again.

Brokenness is beautiful -- even when it seems ugly.  It's about letting go of everything, realizing that your understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6) is not only insufficient -- it is misleading.

Why can't I love God better?  Why can't I love people better?  Why can't I depend on Him more?  Why am I focusing on satisfying my own desires?  Why do I pretty much have everything I need, yet am still so empty?  Why have the things of God lost their appeal?

The answer is: because my heart is not broken.  I've put confidence in something other than Him.  Or I've allowed myself to become satisfied with my current state.  What I need is for all my confidence, my being, my contentedness ... to be shattered.  I have to once again see that all is hopelessness outside of Christ.  We are far too easily pleased, to quote C. S. Lewis.

I'm taking the following statements directly from sermon notes that I wrote down on May 1, 2011 at K2 The Church.

The first thing that Jesus said in the first sermon that He gave was "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Poor in this case can be defined as: to have need, dependency, and to be aware of your need.  See Isaiah 57:15.  Jesus struggled most with those who believed they were wealthy in spirit!  The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we realize our need of Him.  We don't become "better," we become more broken.

There is more in each of us that needs to be broken than we realize.  But it's not going to reveal itself.  Only Jesus can point it out.  And only Jesus can even give you the desire to handle it!  Only He can help you to rid yourself of ... yourself.  

So I hope you'll join me in praying that He will undo us and destroy the walls that we inadvertently build up around ourselves.  

God works with undone hearts.  After God encountered Paul (Read Acts 9:8-9) he was BROKEN.  

 I'm looking forward to talking about Inspiration(breath) next!