Inspiration/Breath

This is Part #2 of the Brokenness/Inspiration subject.

I wouldn't say that brokenness is an absolute prerequisite of inspiration, but I'd say that for "best results" it's best to pour into something that is OPEN and empty.

Inspiration can actually be synonymous with Inhalation.  So I'll be drawing the connection between breathing, inhaling, and inspiration wherever I can.  When you treat these words as synonyms, it makes certain ideas more three-dimensional.  God breathed life into the first human.  Adam's first action in life was to take a breath, to inhale, to be inspired -- directly inspired by God.  Being inspired by someone is as simple as breathing in whatever it is that they are exuding or exhibiting.  Inhalation is what gives you life -- literally.  So why not think of inspiration as the way our spirit inhales?  Then we might see inspiration as a requirement for the life of the soul and spirit.

I know I'm getting into hippie/pop spirituality stuff, and to make matters worse, I've been reading a lot from music educator James Jordan.   But I think it's significant that Jordan has written an entire book on "the role of breathing in human expression."  He argues that breath is what determines what is going to follow -- whether it be speech, music, action, etc.  And it's true (as he basically goes on to say) that the honest execution of a musical idea can only be preceded by honest breath.


Sometimes we have to intentionally monitor our breathing in situations, such as when we're trying to calm down.  I just saw Gravity in theaters a couple days ago, and I was definitely breathing with Sandra Bullock for at least 45 minutes of that movie.  When we monitor and control our breathing -- being intentional about our inhalation and exhalation -- we achieve unique results, and often we'll continue to breathe calmly as a result (after we've stopped being conscious of it).
I'm exploring the idea of intentionally monitoring inspiration in my life.  I'm at a point where it's difficult find motivation to do even the simplest things.  But inspiration is what can ignite the flame for anyone.  In my life it especially applies to music.  Sometimes I need to see great art before I can pursue it.  If I can be impacted as a listener, I can be changed as a performer and "practicer."


The central idea behind all this is that inspiration doesn't easily come from within ourselves.  It's stimulated by something outside of our conscious selves.  We breathe in what is outside of us, and we are inspired by things outside of us.  As an introvert, I rely too much on myself and try to be my own driving force.  But I'm quickly seeing that that is a recipe for continuous failure.

For the Christian, the simple way to be inspired is through the "ordinary things:" prayer, the Bible, fellowship, worship, etc.  Sometimes, though, even when exposed to these things, we may accidentally keep ourselves "closed off" and not remain open enough to absorb everything and allow it to inspire/fuel the rest of our life.  Good news is that Jesus is ready at a moment's notice to fill us with inspiration when we need it, and when we turn to Him.  We are meant to live a life of accepting, receiving, opening up, remaining broken, and being vulnerable with a heart dependent on Jesus.  Only after this is done, can we give.

So anyway... as I said, I'm going to attempt to be intentional about inspiration in my life.  I need lots of healthy doses of it at the moment, so it's not going to be difficult for me to remember.  Feel free to join me in this.



Here's an interesting Copland quote.

"Inspiration may be a form of superconsciousness, or perhaps of subconciousness -- I wouldn't know; but I am sure that it is the antithesis of self-consciousness."

-Aaron Copland,  Music and Imagination

Brokenness

For some of the areas of my spiritual life in which I currently struggle, I see a two-fold solution:  Brokenness and Inspiration.  I'm going to talk about these things, both of which God has spent some time in the past teaching me about.  As is often the case, this is for me as much as it is for anyone else who takes the time to read it.  I'm going to split these two topics into two blog posts.

I wish I could say I'm an expert on this topic.  I'm sure I'll never be.  But if I were to lead a group of young adults in some kind of independent small group (one of my fantasies that I hope will come true some day) I would start by talking about brokenness [and for clarification, I'm talking about the good kind of brokenness].

The precursor to spiritual change and growth is often brokenness.  Something must be emptied before it can be filled.  Many don't come to Jesus until they've run out of "things" to go to.  I love what I read recently in the daily devotional book, Come Boldly, that HFBC is currently using:

"When shall we come and appear before God?

We pray when we see an emptiness in all things under heaven.

We see that in God alone there is rest and satisfaction

for the soul. ... Right prayer sees nothing substantial 

or worth being concerned about except God."

-John Bunyan

A few years ago, after examining my life and seeing nothing but a spiritual plateau and stagnant relationship with God and His people, it was then that God began speaking to me about brokenness.  So brokenness is what I pursued.  But here I am, pursuing it (or at least... getting ready to pursue it) again.  That's the thing -- one-time brokenness doesn't last forever.  As the things of this world and of your own mind/heart slowly begin to creep back up and grow onto you, you may find yourself in a familiar place of needing your heart to be broken by Him once again.

Brokenness is beautiful -- even when it seems ugly.  It's about letting go of everything, realizing that your understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6) is not only insufficient -- it is misleading.

Why can't I love God better?  Why can't I love people better?  Why can't I depend on Him more?  Why am I focusing on satisfying my own desires?  Why do I pretty much have everything I need, yet am still so empty?  Why have the things of God lost their appeal?

The answer is: because my heart is not broken.  I've put confidence in something other than Him.  Or I've allowed myself to become satisfied with my current state.  What I need is for all my confidence, my being, my contentedness ... to be shattered.  I have to once again see that all is hopelessness outside of Christ.  We are far too easily pleased, to quote C. S. Lewis.

I'm taking the following statements directly from sermon notes that I wrote down on May 1, 2011 at K2 The Church.

The first thing that Jesus said in the first sermon that He gave was "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Poor in this case can be defined as: to have need, dependency, and to be aware of your need.  See Isaiah 57:15.  Jesus struggled most with those who believed they were wealthy in spirit!  The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we realize our need of Him.  We don't become "better," we become more broken.

There is more in each of us that needs to be broken than we realize.  But it's not going to reveal itself.  Only Jesus can point it out.  And only Jesus can even give you the desire to handle it!  Only He can help you to rid yourself of ... yourself.  

So I hope you'll join me in praying that He will undo us and destroy the walls that we inadvertently build up around ourselves.  

God works with undone hearts.  After God encountered Paul (Read Acts 9:8-9) he was BROKEN.  

 I'm looking forward to talking about Inspiration(breath) next!

Obligatory New Years Post

This post is really for me...hence the brevity, simplicity, and lack of apparent purpose ;)

This is an interesting time in my life.  Being single and out of school basically means I can do whatever I want, but also don't have a clear "future" or goal like we do while we're pursuing a degree or other academic achievement.  Because of this, life has the potential to have some really awesome highs, and a few boring lows.  For my own reflection, I'm listing the cool things that happened last year, and the cool things I've got lined up thus far this year.




The highlights of 2013:

Flew to Utah and had the BEST ski experience yet

Started working for Houston's First Baptist Church

Finished my first school year as a Texas A&M employee

Went on two weekend choir tours to the Dallas area

Had a piano lesson with Anne Epperson on the Franck sonata at UT!

Lots and lots and lots of accompanying

Attended the Oregon Bach Festival Composers Symposium!!!

Met Craig Hella Johnson

New Dream Theater album :)

Taught Contemporary Worship Keyboard techniques at a clinic

Vacation in Port Aransas w/ family/friends

SAW CONSPIRARE IN CONCERT!!

Became the accompanist for the Brazos Valley Chorale

Ate at Christopher's World Grille (that's worth mentioning, right??)

Recorded with two amazing musicians for my prescreening audition

Things to look forward to in 2014:

Working full-time, for the first time ever

A live audition at CU Boulder (and going skiing for one day!)

Joint choir performance with the Nordic Choir

My best friend's wedding

My little brother's wedding

10-day trip to Germany!!!

10-day trip to Africa!!!

Possibly Oregon again??

(Not Christmas Anymore) #17: He Covers Shame

He covers Shame & Sin



This morning I went to Proverbs 10 (yes, whenever I want to read a Proverb I typically just go to the chapter that corresponds with the day of the month -- Guilty). Anyway, I got to verse 12:

Hatred stirs up strife,

But love covers all sins.

(Prov. 10:12 NKJV)

And I was reminded that I wanted to write a post devoted to my favorite quality of Christ: the fact that He covers shame and sin.

I always find it interesting when I see a passage like this in the Old Testament and then remember the Pharisees and religious Jews during Jesus' time who had an incredible knowledge of the scriptures, yet still were unloving (and loved to expose people's sin). But we're ALL guilty of knowing the words of God and ignoring them.

God really spoke to me concerning this idea of "covering sin and shame" after a situation that happened a little over a year ago. (I'll have to try to avoid as many details as possible out of respect). A large group of folks and myself had to meet VERY early in the morning for what was going to be a long, busy day. Well, I learned that one of my fellow participants had elected to not sleep the night before, and, on top of that, spent their time drinking a large quantity of some certain beverages ... ones that they were not legally allowed to be consuming in the first place... Anyway, needless to say, I burned inside with a "dad-like" and not-so-forgiving frustration with this person's irresponsibility. Throughout the entire day, I carried the desire to expose the real reason behind this person's "bout of motion sickness" earlier, and would've loved to express my frustration at their immaturity.

It wasn't until much later (I don't remember...days or weeks) that I found myself dwelling on God's tendency to cover sin and shame, and He reminded me of that day in which I so strongly desired to do the complete opposite! It's so simple -- how can I love and desire the covering that Jesus gives me, but be reluctant to give it to others? I may have successfully kept it all bottled up inside that day, but my heart was definitely not in the right place at all.
We see the reoccurring theme of "covering" throughout the entire Bible. After Adam and Eve sinned and were "ashamed" they attempted to cover themselves, as anyone would. Did God take away their fig leaves and punish them? Well, not exactly. Read Genesis 3:21 God actually clothed them! And the fact that animal skins were used means what? An animal likely had to die. This was the first sacrifice for sin, and it was to cover the shame of the sinner. The love of our God is just incredible. When we mess up, He doesn't make us sit up high in a corner wearing the "dunce hat" or the cone of shame. He removes our sin and takes away our shame! We're not merely clothed, but clothed in the righteousness of Christ.

I think it's significant that part of Jesus' sacrifice for our sin included His exposure and nakedness on the cross. He was stripped of His garments so that we could be forever clothed. Sin doesn't just lead to pain and death -- it brings lots of shame. And Jesus took on our shame just as much as our death.

And it all points back to what He did for Adam and Eve. Even in the last book of the Bible, the Lord is offering clothing as He did in the garden.

Revelation 3:18-21
18 I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. 19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. 21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.


We all want our shame covered.  So remember to do it for others.  Gossip is SO far beyond the character of Christ!  Resist the urge to spread any negative speech about ANYONE.  Remember that Jesus is in you, and the LAST thing He would ever do is drag your shame through the streets.

And remember -- it's not "what would Jesus do."  Instead ask "what is Jesus doing right now, and what does He want to do through me."