The Goodness and Glory of God in His Creation

As usual, the things I have to say are elementary...things I've been taught long ago but am still learning to understand.

The thing that has been on my heart for the past couple of weeks is the idea (or the fact, rather) that every good thing on this earth is a reflection of God and is meant to point us to Him so that He ultimately is glorified and His people are drawn to Him.

EVERY good thing...every single good thing that we come across is a hint, a shadow, a reflection of Him.

If we really believed that, we wouldn't be so attached to the good "things" in our lives.  It's not wrong to love good things, but the result should be looking to God and praising Him for His awesomeness and goodness.

The first "thing" that I was thinking about when this topic started creeping into my heart was people.  God takes pleasure in showing us His good qualities by pouring a few of them into every individual He has created.  We all enjoy people and relationships with those people -- but how awesome is it that God is the culmination of all the good things we see in each other.

I'm going to pause briefly to say that there is one key that unlocks the ability for this concept to alter the way we think, live, and look to the future:  belief.  Belief is a struggle.  Many Christians still struggle with the belief that God really is GOOD and that truly He loves us.  Some of us still subconsciously believe that God is boring compared to this vivid, "real" world we live in.  And some of us still continue to struggle with the belief that God is even real and that Jesus the Messiah is really divine.  I still haven't fully figured out how to effectively combat doubt.  But I know it's not a bad idea to periodically step back and tell oneself, "If I don't believe that God is real and good and present in our lives, then I don't believe in the whole Bible or the gospel; and if I don't believe in the Bible or a personal, good God, then what exactly do I believe?

In times of doubt, sometimes one must simply make a decision to believe that there is a God, that His Word is pure, that His covenant with His People has been opened up to the entire population of the world via Jesus, and that the fullness of God dwells within each person that has Christ.

Back to the fun news: the God that created us wanted to show Himself to us by reflecting Himself off of us.  As you walk through life, you will encounter so many different people.  Some of these people will cause you to want spend more time around them.  There are even non-believers that have been given qualities that reflect God, and we're meant to admire these qualities in such a way that points us back to the Source.

How much better is something when we find it at its source?  How much more fresh, healthy, and tasty is food found at its source than something that has been shipped around or tampered with.  If you're a seafood person, you know it's better to get seafood in Houston than it is in South Dakota.  Houston is next to the source.  Walking around Leipzig, Germany last Summer -- though it may not be now what it was in the 1700s -- I was walking around the source of so much great music that is fundamental to what I do and study today.  Naturally, it was surreal to walk by the house of Robert Schumann and sit inside Bach's church.  To cut back to food analogies, if someone offered you the choice between 1) a fruit that was picked two weeks ago, frozen (or otherwise preserved), and shipped across the country to you and 2) the same fruit, except that you picked it off of the tree yourself at the moment it was most ripe, what would you choose?  God is the tree.

We tend to idolize the "thing" and forget about the Source.  God is the source of all pleasure.  But do you really believe that?  "We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, of Your temple."  "In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."  These words are coming from a king -- someone who had it all.  Riches and power were his.  If David wanted land, all he would have to do is give the command.  If he wanted a wife, it was done.  That's a touchy subject considering his infamous sin, but the point is: despite having power and having a whole country at his feet, he knew that the only real goodness and pleasure was in the presence of God.  Like us, he certainly didn't adhere to that knowledge 24/7.  If only we could!  Then, we could avoid the huge pitfalls into which our idolatry and lusts draw us.

If I remembered the goodness of God -- that all good things proceed from Him and that the best qualities I see in a person are just a drop of Himself that He put there, how much more will I be drawn to Him?  Everything lines up properly when we recognize these facts.  Are you jealous of this particular person that is gifted in ways you aren't?  Remind yourself that these are qualities of God and that He is sharing them with you through this person.  Or, instead of being jealous, maybe you're idolizing this person.  Again, be reminded that this person is merely giving you a glimpse of the goodness of God.  Are you prideful because of your own good attributes?  Know that all good things come from Him and that you have been given the responsibility to reflect your God.  Once you take credit for His goodness in you....let's just say I don't want to be around when God teaches you a lesson!  Are you saddened by the loss or absence (or knowledge of future absence) of a good thing/person in your life?  I know I am!  But no matter how good those things are (the love of a family member, the companionship of a best friend, the regular encouragement you get from an acquaintance at your workplace, the inspiring wisdom of one of your teachers) this stuff is just frozen food compared with the fresh and vivid goodness that you will always and forever find in God through Jesus.  I'm praying that I can simply remember to tell myself these things every day.  It's so difficult, because from the time that we're children, we're trained to experience the world through our 5 senses instead of through the lens of belief in our Savior.  Now is the time to remove our normal lenses and see things through the lens of Christ, the source and creator of all goodness and pleasure.

Thoughts on a husband's "spiritual leadership"

So, I'm not going to be so bold as to presume that I have a clue about how marriage works in the practical world.  In fact, at the time of this writing (March 2014) I've never even had what I can call a "successful christian dating relationship."  I could easily write a pamphlet called 7 Ways to Fail at Having a God-Centered Relationship.   So instead of presuming that I have "advice," I'm going to simply share what God put on my heart yesterday morning.  He wrecked me, actually, but I won't go into all the detail.  Also, I tend to be very long-winded, so ....SORRY.


[the following paragraph is kind of a "disclaimer" and is unnecessary for my main point, so men, feel free to skip over]


I'm obviously not married.  I'm coming at all this from the perspective of a 26-year old single guy, hoping to one day be a boyfriend and then a husband in a God-centered relationship where my significant other can actually look up to me, respect me, and trust my "leadership."  Just to clarify my thoughts on the roles of husbands and wives, I DO believe that the husband fully submits to God and to his wife, while the wife fully submits to God and to her husband.  The husband is called to completely die to himself for his wife.  And likewise, the wife is called to lay down her life in support of her husband.  Okay so far?  Great.  I do, however, believe that men have been given the responsibility to be a leader in their home and family and that, in the end, they will be held more accountable for the spiritual well-being of their family than women.  I also believe that if a marriage is sinking, the hope of restoration usually ultimately lies in the hands of the man.  Sorry girls... I just know the stubbornness of men and how we like to think we're the one with the bright ideas, making us resistant to leadership from a woman.  It's not your fault.




Okay so here it goes.  And again, this is "baby stuff" that a single guy came up with, so I apologize if you spend your time reading this and walk away with nothing profound.


Yesterday I read three unrelated passages, (Hebrews 13, Psalm 126-130, and Proverbs 26), and all three contained something significant for where I am.  The Hebrews passage was simply God reminding me of the gravity of my sin (lust), the cause behind it (covetousness), and the solution (contentedness in Him and reliance on Him).  But the big ones in Proverbs and Psalms are:


Proverbs 26:12 
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Psalms 127:1
Unless the Lord builds the house,They labor in vain who build it;


First: to be wise in your own eyes is to destroy whatever wisdom you've worked to obtain.  Proverbs goes on and on and ON about fools and how bad they are.  Then nestled in chapter 26 is this little statement about someone who is wise in his own eyes being worse off than a fool.  The definition that this book of the Bible gives of a wise man is someone who never believes he is actually wise, but rather continually seeks council and maintains his humility.

Second:  Read that one from Psalms again.  If I embark on this journey of becoming a "spiritual leader" with the intent of striving to get to a certain point ("If I can just memorize enough scripture... If I can just pray more... If I can just be stronger in my theology... If I can just give more of my finances... If I can just be more supportive... If I can just have a stronger personality...") guess what -- I'll fail.  At best, I'll succeed in building myself up, but merely on a foundation of sand and low self-esteem.


Here's the solution:  BROKENNESS.  I've spoken about brokenness in a recent blog post, so feel free to go read it.  If I, Ben, want to be a spiritual leader, I must continue to strive for one thing, and that is brokenness: less and less reliance on myself and more and more dependency.  It seems completely counter-intuitive.  But guess what -- the Christian life is counter-intuitive.

When I finally begin to admit that there is no good in me, that I am nothing, and that only God can continue to save me from myself every day, THEN I'm making progress.  Because I'm not actually making progress -- He is.

A little side-note:  outsiders often might see Christians as self-deprecating with all this "no confidence in the flesh" stuff.  We're not called to be self-deprecating, because that means you're STILL thinking about yourself!  (Thanks Joel).  We're to be self-crucifying, basically.  That means there's no "self" to deprecate anymore.  Your life is now Christ, it is not you.

The charge of being a leader in something that everyone sucks at is daunting.  But that is why it's completely liberating and effective to know that spiritual strength is derived from spiritual brokenness and submission.  This means that you don't have to worry about memorizing more scripture, being a more loving person, etc... It just means realizing how much more you need Christ every day.  Christian life and relationship no longer becomes a contest of "who has the wisdom/strength to be the leader," but rather "who has come to the end of themselves" and "who is more hopeless without Him."



To conclude, I'll just paste what I actually wrote down yesterday while I felt God was hitting me over the head with all these things.




Yesterday, in Release of the Spirit, it was the reminder that there is so much selfishness behind my actions, even some of the actions that I think are selfless. So my prayer needs to be that God would shine His light and truly expose me -- every part of me. That my soul would be laid bare before Him so that He can actually work on me. I can't expose my own sin -- God does that.

And to go along with that last sentence, something I read today in Psalms 127:1

"Unless The Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it."

A big reminder that I cannot do my own "spiritual improvement." I cannot build this house of spiritual strength and rootedness in God. I want to so badly. I want to be the man I'm called to be. I want to be a strong fortress -- someone that a godly woman could trust. But to do it myself, by my own strength, through faith in myself, I am simply building myself up on a foundation of sand. The biggest thing lacking in my life right now is prayer, followed by regular reading of the Bible. I think that by doing those things, with the humility to receive whatever it is that God has for me --- which may be lots of tearing down before it's any "building up" -- then MAYBE He'll actually change me.

Only God exposes sin, only God gives strength, and only God causes growth. In light of that, what should be my response? A surrendering, "go-with-the-flow" attitude? Maybe. Can I focus on the tearing down and building up that God wants to do, while simultaneously hoping to become a "spiritual leader?" (that term has come to leave a bad taste in my mouth). Or should I surrender to Him the idea of being a spiritual leader altogether. Should my focus be a surrender to His tearing down of myself, my spirit, my soul, my heart, my passions, and my desires. Maybe the true quality of a spiritual leader (again...bad taste in my mouth) is someone who has not been built up, but rather someone who has been torn down and completely broken. Maybe it's easier than I think. Maybe instead of trying to reach for and attain this point of status and achievement, I should be reaching for brokenness. Brokenness.....only out of death can life come. If I skip this step, then any spiritual construction is still being built on this false idea of "I can be good. I can be what she needs. I can be wise and strong in The Lord...." That idea (that I CAN be wise/strong in the Lord) contains some truth, but must be rooted in the correct truth: that being wise and strong in the The Lord is to only be reliant on Him and His word for strength and wisdom.

Inspiration/Breath

This is Part #2 of the Brokenness/Inspiration subject.

I wouldn't say that brokenness is an absolute prerequisite of inspiration, but I'd say that for "best results" it's best to pour into something that is OPEN and empty.

Inspiration can actually be synonymous with Inhalation.  So I'll be drawing the connection between breathing, inhaling, and inspiration wherever I can.  When you treat these words as synonyms, it makes certain ideas more three-dimensional.  God breathed life into the first human.  Adam's first action in life was to take a breath, to inhale, to be inspired -- directly inspired by God.  Being inspired by someone is as simple as breathing in whatever it is that they are exuding or exhibiting.  Inhalation is what gives you life -- literally.  So why not think of inspiration as the way our spirit inhales?  Then we might see inspiration as a requirement for the life of the soul and spirit.

I know I'm getting into hippie/pop spirituality stuff, and to make matters worse, I've been reading a lot from music educator James Jordan.   But I think it's significant that Jordan has written an entire book on "the role of breathing in human expression."  He argues that breath is what determines what is going to follow -- whether it be speech, music, action, etc.  And it's true (as he basically goes on to say) that the honest execution of a musical idea can only be preceded by honest breath.


Sometimes we have to intentionally monitor our breathing in situations, such as when we're trying to calm down.  I just saw Gravity in theaters a couple days ago, and I was definitely breathing with Sandra Bullock for at least 45 minutes of that movie.  When we monitor and control our breathing -- being intentional about our inhalation and exhalation -- we achieve unique results, and often we'll continue to breathe calmly as a result (after we've stopped being conscious of it).
I'm exploring the idea of intentionally monitoring inspiration in my life.  I'm at a point where it's difficult find motivation to do even the simplest things.  But inspiration is what can ignite the flame for anyone.  In my life it especially applies to music.  Sometimes I need to see great art before I can pursue it.  If I can be impacted as a listener, I can be changed as a performer and "practicer."


The central idea behind all this is that inspiration doesn't easily come from within ourselves.  It's stimulated by something outside of our conscious selves.  We breathe in what is outside of us, and we are inspired by things outside of us.  As an introvert, I rely too much on myself and try to be my own driving force.  But I'm quickly seeing that that is a recipe for continuous failure.

For the Christian, the simple way to be inspired is through the "ordinary things:" prayer, the Bible, fellowship, worship, etc.  Sometimes, though, even when exposed to these things, we may accidentally keep ourselves "closed off" and not remain open enough to absorb everything and allow it to inspire/fuel the rest of our life.  Good news is that Jesus is ready at a moment's notice to fill us with inspiration when we need it, and when we turn to Him.  We are meant to live a life of accepting, receiving, opening up, remaining broken, and being vulnerable with a heart dependent on Jesus.  Only after this is done, can we give.

So anyway... as I said, I'm going to attempt to be intentional about inspiration in my life.  I need lots of healthy doses of it at the moment, so it's not going to be difficult for me to remember.  Feel free to join me in this.



Here's an interesting Copland quote.

"Inspiration may be a form of superconsciousness, or perhaps of subconciousness -- I wouldn't know; but I am sure that it is the antithesis of self-consciousness."

-Aaron Copland,  Music and Imagination

Brokenness

For some of the areas of my spiritual life in which I currently struggle, I see a two-fold solution:  Brokenness and Inspiration.  I'm going to talk about these things, both of which God has spent some time in the past teaching me about.  As is often the case, this is for me as much as it is for anyone else who takes the time to read it.  I'm going to split these two topics into two blog posts.

I wish I could say I'm an expert on this topic.  I'm sure I'll never be.  But if I were to lead a group of young adults in some kind of independent small group (one of my fantasies that I hope will come true some day) I would start by talking about brokenness [and for clarification, I'm talking about the good kind of brokenness].

The precursor to spiritual change and growth is often brokenness.  Something must be emptied before it can be filled.  Many don't come to Jesus until they've run out of "things" to go to.  I love what I read recently in the daily devotional book, Come Boldly, that HFBC is currently using:

"When shall we come and appear before God?

We pray when we see an emptiness in all things under heaven.

We see that in God alone there is rest and satisfaction

for the soul. ... Right prayer sees nothing substantial 

or worth being concerned about except God."

-John Bunyan

A few years ago, after examining my life and seeing nothing but a spiritual plateau and stagnant relationship with God and His people, it was then that God began speaking to me about brokenness.  So brokenness is what I pursued.  But here I am, pursuing it (or at least... getting ready to pursue it) again.  That's the thing -- one-time brokenness doesn't last forever.  As the things of this world and of your own mind/heart slowly begin to creep back up and grow onto you, you may find yourself in a familiar place of needing your heart to be broken by Him once again.

Brokenness is beautiful -- even when it seems ugly.  It's about letting go of everything, realizing that your understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6) is not only insufficient -- it is misleading.

Why can't I love God better?  Why can't I love people better?  Why can't I depend on Him more?  Why am I focusing on satisfying my own desires?  Why do I pretty much have everything I need, yet am still so empty?  Why have the things of God lost their appeal?

The answer is: because my heart is not broken.  I've put confidence in something other than Him.  Or I've allowed myself to become satisfied with my current state.  What I need is for all my confidence, my being, my contentedness ... to be shattered.  I have to once again see that all is hopelessness outside of Christ.  We are far too easily pleased, to quote C. S. Lewis.

I'm taking the following statements directly from sermon notes that I wrote down on May 1, 2011 at K2 The Church.

The first thing that Jesus said in the first sermon that He gave was "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Poor in this case can be defined as: to have need, dependency, and to be aware of your need.  See Isaiah 57:15.  Jesus struggled most with those who believed they were wealthy in spirit!  The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we realize our need of Him.  We don't become "better," we become more broken.

There is more in each of us that needs to be broken than we realize.  But it's not going to reveal itself.  Only Jesus can point it out.  And only Jesus can even give you the desire to handle it!  Only He can help you to rid yourself of ... yourself.  

So I hope you'll join me in praying that He will undo us and destroy the walls that we inadvertently build up around ourselves.  

God works with undone hearts.  After God encountered Paul (Read Acts 9:8-9) he was BROKEN.  

 I'm looking forward to talking about Inspiration(breath) next!

Obligatory New Years Post

This post is really for me...hence the brevity, simplicity, and lack of apparent purpose ;)

This is an interesting time in my life.  Being single and out of school basically means I can do whatever I want, but also don't have a clear "future" or goal like we do while we're pursuing a degree or other academic achievement.  Because of this, life has the potential to have some really awesome highs, and a few boring lows.  For my own reflection, I'm listing the cool things that happened last year, and the cool things I've got lined up thus far this year.




The highlights of 2013:

Flew to Utah and had the BEST ski experience yet

Started working for Houston's First Baptist Church

Finished my first school year as a Texas A&M employee

Went on two weekend choir tours to the Dallas area

Had a piano lesson with Anne Epperson on the Franck sonata at UT!

Lots and lots and lots of accompanying

Attended the Oregon Bach Festival Composers Symposium!!!

Met Craig Hella Johnson

New Dream Theater album :)

Taught Contemporary Worship Keyboard techniques at a clinic

Vacation in Port Aransas w/ family/friends

SAW CONSPIRARE IN CONCERT!!

Became the accompanist for the Brazos Valley Chorale

Ate at Christopher's World Grille (that's worth mentioning, right??)

Recorded with two amazing musicians for my prescreening audition

Things to look forward to in 2014:

Working full-time, for the first time ever

A live audition at CU Boulder (and going skiing for one day!)

Joint choir performance with the Nordic Choir

My best friend's wedding

My little brother's wedding

10-day trip to Germany!!!

10-day trip to Africa!!!

Possibly Oregon again??

(Not Christmas Anymore) #17: He Covers Shame

He covers Shame & Sin



This morning I went to Proverbs 10 (yes, whenever I want to read a Proverb I typically just go to the chapter that corresponds with the day of the month -- Guilty). Anyway, I got to verse 12:

Hatred stirs up strife,

But love covers all sins.

(Prov. 10:12 NKJV)

And I was reminded that I wanted to write a post devoted to my favorite quality of Christ: the fact that He covers shame and sin.

I always find it interesting when I see a passage like this in the Old Testament and then remember the Pharisees and religious Jews during Jesus' time who had an incredible knowledge of the scriptures, yet still were unloving (and loved to expose people's sin). But we're ALL guilty of knowing the words of God and ignoring them.

God really spoke to me concerning this idea of "covering sin and shame" after a situation that happened a little over a year ago. (I'll have to try to avoid as many details as possible out of respect). A large group of folks and myself had to meet VERY early in the morning for what was going to be a long, busy day. Well, I learned that one of my fellow participants had elected to not sleep the night before, and, on top of that, spent their time drinking a large quantity of some certain beverages ... ones that they were not legally allowed to be consuming in the first place... Anyway, needless to say, I burned inside with a "dad-like" and not-so-forgiving frustration with this person's irresponsibility. Throughout the entire day, I carried the desire to expose the real reason behind this person's "bout of motion sickness" earlier, and would've loved to express my frustration at their immaturity.

It wasn't until much later (I don't remember...days or weeks) that I found myself dwelling on God's tendency to cover sin and shame, and He reminded me of that day in which I so strongly desired to do the complete opposite! It's so simple -- how can I love and desire the covering that Jesus gives me, but be reluctant to give it to others? I may have successfully kept it all bottled up inside that day, but my heart was definitely not in the right place at all.
We see the reoccurring theme of "covering" throughout the entire Bible. After Adam and Eve sinned and were "ashamed" they attempted to cover themselves, as anyone would. Did God take away their fig leaves and punish them? Well, not exactly. Read Genesis 3:21 God actually clothed them! And the fact that animal skins were used means what? An animal likely had to die. This was the first sacrifice for sin, and it was to cover the shame of the sinner. The love of our God is just incredible. When we mess up, He doesn't make us sit up high in a corner wearing the "dunce hat" or the cone of shame. He removes our sin and takes away our shame! We're not merely clothed, but clothed in the righteousness of Christ.

I think it's significant that part of Jesus' sacrifice for our sin included His exposure and nakedness on the cross. He was stripped of His garments so that we could be forever clothed. Sin doesn't just lead to pain and death -- it brings lots of shame. And Jesus took on our shame just as much as our death.

And it all points back to what He did for Adam and Eve. Even in the last book of the Bible, the Lord is offering clothing as He did in the garden.

Revelation 3:18-21
18 I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. 19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. 21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.


We all want our shame covered.  So remember to do it for others.  Gossip is SO far beyond the character of Christ!  Resist the urge to spread any negative speech about ANYONE.  Remember that Jesus is in you, and the LAST thing He would ever do is drag your shame through the streets.

And remember -- it's not "what would Jesus do."  Instead ask "what is Jesus doing right now, and what does He want to do through me."